Welcome to the great international dating paradox. Who does it better, British or American men?
As a single Canadian woman living in London, I’ve had my fair share of dates on both sides of the pond. And I even wrote an award-winning book about finding love, In Search of Mr Darcy: Lessons Learnt in the Pursuit of Happily Ever After.
Having said that, I don’t know everything about this subject (phew). But you better believe I can talk about it.
To make this discussion even juicier, I’ve enlisted my girl gang – a highly qualified team of romantic research analysts. We’re focusing on city men and speaking in generalities, so if you’re easily offended, I suggest you swipe left.
If you’ve ever wondered how British and North American men compare when it comes to romance, charm, and commitment, buckle up. This is a head-to-head showdown of British Men vs. North American Men, complete with all their quirks, charms, and questionable texting habits.
Round 1: The Approach
British Men: Approaching a woman at a bar? Not unless they’ve had at least three pints and an enthusiastic pep talk from their mates. The British flirting style is subtle, often bordering on accidental. Think Hugh Grant in Four Weddings and a Funeral. Or, for that matter, any Hugh Grant movie.
North American Men: Much more direct. He’ll introduce himself, pay a compliment, and ask for your number – all before the ice melts in your Pimm’s. I bring into evidence Ryan Gosling in The Notebook (swoon). Confidence is key, and North American men put themselves out there without needing a lager-fuelled push.
Winner: North American Men. If you like clarity over cryptic pub banter, they’ll save you some guesswork.
Award-winning author Christina Ford looks at the ‘great dating paradox – who does it better, British or American men?’ She’s pictured in Sicily
Christina explains that ‘British culture is built on social protocol’. She’s pictured above in London
Round 2: Manners
British Men: British culture is built on social protocol. Centuries-old traditions still linger, which means British men are more likely to stand when a woman arrives, walk on the outside of the sidewalk/pavement to shield you from traffic, or hold a door open without expecting a medal.
North American Men: They are truly oblivious to most of those niceties. Americans, in particular, are known to be brash, loud, and will happily tell you about their crypto investments or what they can bench press before you’ve ordered a drink. Canadians, ever the peacekeepers, tend to fall somewhere in between.
Winner: British Men. No contest.
Side note: All men, regardless of nationality, are guilty of leaving the toilet seat up unless raised in a house full of women. Dudes, make an effort, put it down.
Round 3: Style
British Men: When I first moved to London, back when the UK was still joyfully part of the EU, I had one recurring question: ‘Are they gay or just European?’ British men are more metrosexual than their North American counterparts – though less so than the French or Italians (but that’s a whole other conversation). My British father always said you can judge a man by his shoes, and honestly, he wasn’t wrong.
North American Men: Since when did a hoodie and a backwards baseball cap count as date attire? Their wardrobe could take them from a ball game to a wedding with zero adjustments. And dirty trainers? Unforgivable.
Winner: British Men. Maybe it’s the James Bond effect, but even on a casual date, you’re unlikely to see their Tommy Hilfiger waistband peeking above low-slung jeans.
Christina reveals that North American men ‘tend to put more effort’ into planning a date while British men are usually better dressed. LEFT: The author on holiday in Marrakech. RIGHT: Christina in London
Round 4: The first date
British Men: The good news? You’re going to the pub. The bad news? You’re going to the pub. The drinking culture is strong in the UK, so dates tend to be low-key, involving pints, a sticky table, and possibly his mates. You may not even realise you’re on a date. And if the night goes well? The only late-night move might involve a kebab.
North American Men: More variety. Whether it’s a coffee date, a trendy cocktail bar, or even an activity (hiking, live show, rooftop drinks), North American men tend to put more effort into planning. And make no mistake – you will know if he’s into you. Why? Because he will tell you.
Winner: North American Men. More creativity, less ambiguity. Unless, of course, you love a no-pressure pint and immediate introductions to his entire friend group.
Round 5: Communication
British Men: If you enjoy playing ‘was that flirtation or just British politeness?’, you’re in luck. Expect dry humour, minimal emojis, and a vague ‘fancy a drink?’ text – usually days after you met.
North American Men: If they are into you they’ll actually text back. And sometimes before you even get home from the date. A simple ‘had a great time tonight, when can I see you again?’ A phrase that might send a British man into cardiac arrest. That said, North American men are also more likely to ghost. Bad manners indeed.
Winner: North American Men. Love it or hate it, clarity is king.
Bonus Round: What Women Say About Them
British Women: ‘I’m so sick of English men. All they do is drink beer and watch football.’
American Women: ‘I want to meet an English man because all American men do is drink beer and watch football.’
Moral of the story? No matter where you go, the men are always greener on the other side of the pond.
Final verdict
‘Want charm, subtle wit, and a love of the pub? Go for a British man,’ says Christina
It depends on What You Want!
Want charm, subtle wit, and a love of the pub? Go for a British man. Want directness, effort, and clear intentions? North American men might be your match.
Either way, one thing’s for sure: dating will always be a hilarious, slightly confusing, and wildly entertaining adventure.
Side note: I miss when smoky bars, too much alcohol, and poor judgment decided my romantic future (sigh).